“Thank-you…Doesn’t Seem to Say Enough”

When I posted my last piece about my “secret”…I had no idea the kind of response I would get especially from my Twitter followers. I know how hard it is to go through any amount of time, thinking that people won’t understand…people won’t accept…people will think that I’m damaged goods now…and about a hundred other negative things that we fill our minds with… instead of concentrating on the one most important thing…I’m here…I survived…

There are people who are out there who want to help…One of the things that I’ve discovered is that it is an awful place in existence for someone who has buried it …whose abuser got away with it…those who have gone on year after year not talking about it….not dealing with it…Those are the ones..I try to reach out to…

A child can be healed….with love and therapy…They can be helped to move away from the trauma. They can grow up and lead normal lives. But my fellow victims….the ones who were too afraid to speak out when it happen…the ones who thought they could run far enough away from it…put so many years between the horror and their present world, find out (usually the hard way) that it never leaves you…If you can’t confront the pain…the anguish…the feelings of guilt and revenge…than no amount of time and distance….no walls you build will ever be high enough and the sadness in you for the childhood  that was taken from you, will fester and grow until it consumes you…

It doesn’t have to be that way…There are so many groups and agencies… some people who have been through it and made it….others who are trained to help someone deal with this kind of ultra-personal hell. It doesn’t matter if you think you waited too long….there is no expiration on this kind of suffering.

It was almost 20 years after the fact for me…the 1st person I shared with was a friend and he helped me to realize that I needed to open up to others as well. The more you put it out there…the fog of self-doubt and bitter confusion lifts. It takes awhile and even though I did spend some time with a therapist…my greatest help for me, came when I started helping others. At first it was just helping at shelters and on some phone banks…but the one thing that the effects of child abuse teaches us is that if left buried it can not only make you  miserably unhappy….it could also cause you to abuse someone as well….

I know that last part is very hard to hear but the statistics prove the fact and when I found out that I was going to have a baby….I was terrified that I might one day hurt him…The counselor I met with at a free clinic was so kind and wonderful…She let me know that just by the fact that I had come there and was concerned about what kind of mother I would be that I had taken a first step to prevent it.  

I didn’t require years of therapy but it was awhile before I came to my present understanding about myself and the world I occupy…My best advice to you..I stated in my last writing….Don’t let the bastards win !!!! You are a special individual who went through a most terrible ordeal but you can find a place within you to put it…out of sight and out of reach of your happiness…

Don’t be afraid anymore…come out from the shadows and let others help…There’s no such thing as ” It was a long time ago”. You do deserve to laugh…smile and enjoy life.

Thank-you doesn’t seem like enough to say to you,all…you have helped me to remember all those special people who helped me when I needed it. You’ve reminded me that it never ends…this battle against the evil ones who hurt our children. So many suffer everyday…We must not let them slip away from us…

Seek out any local agencies in your area…if you want to volunteer your time or have come to that moment where you are ready to share your truths with someone. There are non-profits….churches…hospitals that offer help…don’t be afraid..you have already survived  now it’s time to live and be a part. I have been contacted by several awesome online groups that are working to raise awareness and help our children and their families… One such group to follow or join Childhelp… they are striving to make gains in protecting children & families from child abuse: http://bit.ly/cMj5tr

                                         Be safe….Be well, my dear sweet friends.

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